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As Jennifer continued to look at herself in the mirror she felt a wave of sadness come over her. She knew that on the outside she appeared to be a confident and aggressive businesswoman. While she put on a good show, in fact, she was not feeling very good about herself anymore. Her paradox was that while she wanted wild and nasty sex, she also wanted tenderness and love. She wasn't certain that she could have both.Since the divorce she had often felt rejected, lonely, and sometimes depressed. Her friends told her that that was normal and she would get over it. They said she just needed a good man.On that point, she could agree. It would be nice to have a man around the house again she thought. A man that could give her the incredible pleasure she so desperately wanted and be there in the morning when she awoke.On the other hand, getting married again didn't seem that attractive to her. She was not sure that she wanted to get married again. However, she was young and she knew that. I could see my mother and sister returning illuminated by the setting sum, bathed in a reddish glow, as I sat up on the towel, feeling between my legs, where the nice feeling persisted, making me want to touch myself.The dampness made me wonder if I had peed myself, but the sensitivity and the oiliness, was an awakening I have never forgotten, as I felt around, my lubricity and easy insertion as I lay open, down there.I drank my coke and ate my ice cream, all the time squeezing myself down there, that evening before packing up to go back to our hotel, I took down the brightly coloured canvas screen and found the knife slit cut in it, and still nothing registered with me.That night when watching TV I could feel him empty from me as he ran out of me and formed a damp patch in my knickers crotch, and as I drifted off in bed with my troubled thoughts in my head, my body sought relief, and he entered me again, and I awoke, shivering and shaking.My mind rearranged the jigsaw of pieces, I.
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